03 Mar Would you like to meet a unicorn?
I would like to introduce you to someone very special to me. This is my boyfriend Lars. You may have noticed a few mentions of him slipping into my writing here and there, but I thought it was time you met him properly, as you’re going to be seeing quite a lot of him around here in Eli-land.
I first met Lars when I was going through my ‘fix all my bad relationship patterns by dating a fuck ton but staying a committed singleton’ phase. We met on OK Cupid – a dating app even more full of creeps and weirdos than Tinder – and hit it off right away. We exchanged texts most days, but it took a few weeks before we actually met in person. We had a wonderful first date, just easy conversation on everything from mythology to cat videos. I thought he was lovely (and bloody gorgeous), but for some reason I just wasn’t really that interested. Even so, I agreed to go and see a movie with him the following night.
Our second date was the worst date either of us have ever been on. I’ll spare you the details but it was absolutely awful, and I walked away thinking I would probably not bother seeing him again. However, I still really enjoyed our long, fascinating text conversations, and he was gently persistent and kept asking me out. I agreed to a third date, which was as pleasant as the first, but there was something that was holding me back. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but I told him that I didn’t see him romantically and I thought we should just be friends. He agreed and we continued to hang out, but purely platonically.
And oh my, we had so much fun! Every time we saw each other we’d have these amazing conversations which covered every topic under the sun and hours would pass in a heartbeat. My best friend, Nicole, asked me repeatedly after meeting him why we weren’t together - ‘you guys are so bloody good together’, she’d say. But I didn’t want another boyfriend. I loved being single, loved dating, and as far as I was concerned, it was either the Perfect Man or no one. I was DONE with shitty relationships.
My journal entries from this time are hilarious in hindsight - ‘If I ever have another boyfriend, I’d like him to be just like Lars,’ I wrote. ‘Not Lars, obviously, cos that would be weird, but just like him.’ And, ‘I wish I was more into Lars, he’s perfect for me.’
So anyway, this went on for a few months, and then one night he took me to see Massive Attack. We met up early for a drink and ended up getting a bit tipsy and the conversation took a turn for the vulnerable. We opened up to each other like never before and something switched in my brain. All of a sudden I was interested. That night we had our first kiss…
Even after that it took another few months before I succumbed completely to his relentless awesomeness. I gradually realised that every time I wanted to do something – go for a drink, see a movie, go to an exhibition, or for walk in the park, anything - the person I wanted to do it with was Lars. One night we were round at Nicole’s for dinner with a bunch of people and we were all sitting around the dining table, boys chatting at one end and us girls chatting at the other end, and he caught my eye and smiled at me and I thought, ‘Oh bollocks. I’m in love with him. That wasn’t supposed to happen.’
A week later, I told him and we’ve been together ever since. It's our first anniversary in a couple of weeks.
I’ll try to hold back on the gushing, but he really is everything I’ve ever dreamed of, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Funny how he only came along when I decided I was perfectly happy and complete without a man in my life…
He’s an incredible photographer, and you’ll be seeing lots of his work around here in the future (he took all the photos of me for my new website). Somehow he always manages to make me look gorgeous in photos (which is no mean feat – I’m horribly unphotogenic!) and he’s agreed to be my official photographer for all my biz related photo needs, which I am over-the-moon thrilled about.
He’s also one of the wisest people I’ve ever met, and I’m hoping to persuade him to share some of his valuable insights with you guys here. I’ll keep you posted.